Self Sabotage with Emotional Eating
How many things do we start to succeed at in life only to then self-sabotage our efforts? One of the most common examples would be people on a diet who start to lose weight, feel better about their achievements and then, for what appears to be no reason, go and put all the weight back on again. What makes us self-sabotage our successes in life?

We start developing beliefs both positive and negative about ourselves at an early age from the things people close to us say. We then look for evidence to support the belief, ignoring any evidence that contradicts it. A negative belief is kept going or supported by our own inner critical voice. An example would be that as you were growing up you were constantly told, "You'll never succeed you can't stick to anything!" We'll start to generalise this belief to include everything we do in life including losing weight. The result is that as we start to control our eating habits and see that we are losing weight - contrary to our belief about ourselves - our inner critical voice starts telling us "Why bother? You'll never succeed, might as well eat that cake/crisps/chocolate". We've self- sabotaged our chances of succeeding.

Often there is an underlying fear or deeper belief that brings about the self sabotage. The deeper belief can take some work to uncover and the question I work through with my clients is, "What belief about yourself do you have which must be true for you, that makes the self sabotaging behaviour to true?" For example: your belief is all chubby / overweight people are popular and funny, therefore to make that belief true and for you to still have lots of friends and be popular you must stay chubby / overweight. The deeper fear might be that if you lose the weight you won't be funny and therefore people won't like you as much so you won't have as many friends. The inner critical voice will do all it can to support your belief and therefore self-sabotage your efforts.

Other examples of deeper level beliefs behind self-sabotage are: that you don't deserve to succeed, be thin, be loved, be happy, have a good job. Once you work on challenging and changing those beliefs: where did they come from? Did you create them to fit a certain situation / event? Are they still relevant today? It becomes much easier to stop self-sabotaging your successes.

Focusing on the negatives around what you want to achieve create a build up of frustration, which gives way to the inner critical voice, and you give up. Start mentally celebrating and focusing on the small successes and achievements around your goal, it's far more motivating and will quieten that critical voice! 

If you would like to know more about self sabotage, or want help to overcome your emotional eating, I have linked up with Janey Holliday, lifestyle mentor and health coach. We are running an online course to help people tackle their Emotional Eating. For further information click here: