In search of THE Answer.
Is THIS "Trend" for how we think THE Answer? THE One? Nirvana?

Have you noticed how every year there seems to be THE latest trend in diets or new form of exercise that we're assured really is THE one that works?

After the last 10 years or so as a coach I've come to the conclusion that the same things seems to be happening in the "self-help" world. When I first qualified with my psychology degree Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT, which by the way came out of other therapies) was becoming popularised as the therapy to help people suffering from all sorts of issues. I attended a day's lecture on it but decided it wasn't for me and didn't pursue training in it further. It has since become one of the recommended therapies in the National Health Service. Does it work for everyone? No. Do different parts of CBT work for different people? Yes. Does it work for some people and they'll swear by it? Yes.

Some years later I trained as a coach and goal setting became THE trend that everyone was talking about and working on. Building a very clear goal to work towards with a time frame. It seemed to make a lot of sense to me. When I applied the principles personally it worked for certain things but not for others. With clients I found the same thing to be true - it worked for some things but not others.

I continued my search for THE answer...

I discovered Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and liked it enough to go and train in it. I listened to the trainers explaining how the brain operates, how our conscious and unconscious minds behave and how to change our thoughts. I loved learning about the power of language, how it can impact on someone and all the different techniques in NLP to bring about change. It worked wonders on me, and I certainly use my awareness of language everyday and with every client. After all, we all talk. I use varying techniques with lots of my clients depending on the situation or circumstances. Does it work for everyone on everything? No. Do different parts of NLP work for different people? Yes. Does it work for some people and they'll swear by it? Yes.

My search for THE answer went on...

I trained in Thought Field Therapy (TFT) and learned how it was about the Perturbations in the brain and once eliminated the negative thoughts and feelings were erased, as well as learning about the effect of Individual Energy Toxins. I am still amazed at how effective TFT can be and how what we ingest and inhale can affect us emotionally. Does it work for everyone on everything? No. Do different parts of TFT work for different people? Yes. Does it work for some people and they'll swear by it? Yes.

I kept searching...

I am always reading lots of different books and finding lots of theories and approaches to life. There is always what I would see as a "cherry" to pick from every book that helps to explain things – some have a lot more cherries to pick that others. Some are repeats of other things that I've read, they've been adjusted or tweaked in some way and re-named.

Some of my previous trainers moved away from what they had been advocating as THE answer to me in the past and were now saying, "I thought this was it but really this is THE answer." I am lucky enough to also work with elite athletes and people that seemingly have it all and they've given most "trends" a go but are still searching for THE answer. In my reading I came across a book called StillPower by Garret Kramer, who works a lot with athletes and watched some of his talks on the internet about what happens to our thinking and thoughts. It made a lot of sense and I started to use it with clients in certain situations. It seemed there was no "technique" to apply; in essence you simply had to "get it", understand it and let it happen. 

Was my search at an end? Was this the latest "understanding", that is starting to "trend", the answer? Nirvana?

Typically I wanted to know more, had I understood it correctly from the book? So I enrolled on a three-day workshop with Garret. It was truly a turning point in my approach to my work. Even on the workshop there were people who had been training in what I now know as the "inside out" or "3 P's" approach, who were desperate to know what you had to do to achieve it, how did you do it? Were they still asking for a technique, a process, and the steps to learn how to achieve it so they could explain it to others? Didn't they get it? Does it work for everyone in every situation? No. Do different parts of the inside out approach work for different people? Yes. Does it work for some people and they'll swear by it? Yes.

We all have thoughts and yes we all have a brain but does anyone really know exactly what happens in our brains? What we do to ourselves?

As for me, the turning point or revelation, insight, goal (whatever you want to call it) I had over that three days was that believe it or not, we are all unique and that one size doesn't fit all (people or situations) and I shouldn't attempt to make it so when working with clients. I needed to continue what I'd already started to do, to adapt and "cherry pick" from what I currently know to apply what I think is appropriate at that time for that client. It might mean that I use a real mixture of things to achieve what works for them. As for goals, well sometimes by being too focussed on every detail of a goal you may miss all sorts of opportunities that are presented to you on the way. I now like to set a direction with my clients (and they like it too) rather than a long term-term goal. We live in a fast changing world and sometimes that long-term goal is made to be outdated and obsolete by the technology around us before we can achieve it. I've found my new approach to coaching my clients works really well and they are achieving more. 

WOW - Maybe I've just discovered THE answer to help everyone? GHB Coaching (if that's the word, or should it be Thinking? Processing?) will become the next trend! I'm off to develop my workshops...seminars...write the book..think of a name... Of course I'm always happy to start a list of delegates for my first seminar right now! :-)

Note: Obviously my descriptions in this blog for everything I've learnt are at a very basic level.  They've all made me (along with my clients who've taught me the most) the coach I am today. For which my clients tell me they're very grateful and to me that's all that matters.