What's Stopping You From Being More Confident?
I was coaching a client recently and they wanted to be more confident socially. They had bags of confidence at work and having left a job they hated had started their own business. To look at them you would be surprised to hear that socially they lacked a huge amount of confidence and avoided invites from friends as a result. 

The first couple of things I ask clients who want more confidence is "what does confidence look, sound and feel like to you?" And "If I could give you all the confidence you want right here and now would you take it?" It is amazing how many clients struggle to define what  'confidence'  means to them and how many actually start to give me reasons as to why they wouldn't want me to give them 'all the confidence' right away. They absolutely know that having more confidence is the answer to what they need to do, so what are the fears stopping them from becoming more confident?

There seems to be a range of fears that prevent people from being more confident from things like: 

-  I'll become this whole other person who can do anything and that's scary! 
-  I'm not sure I'll like the new confident me. 
-  Will my friends still like me?
-  Will it affect the relationship I have with my partner? 


-  I won't have an excuse not to do it (whatever that happens to be) then, will I?
-  I won't be able to tell myself the same story in my head as to why I am where I am?
-  I won't be able to blame my lack of confidence for holding me back.

So is it more confidence that you want or do you find yourself resisting any opportunity to become more confident? If the latter is the case then more questions need to be asked.

Earlier this year I was talking to my friend Janey Holliday, who runs an online business  http://makingthingseasy.com for women, about people wanting to be more confident. As a result we decided to run a 5 week online "Confidence" course and interestingly enough there are some women who want more confidence in certain areas of their lives but are actually resisting the opportunity to find out how to get it. The question is: what exactly is it that they fear will happen to them, their lives, the people around them, when they become more confident?